And on April 27th another page was created, just after a redditor posted a screenshot on 4chan of a “Dependapotamus” trying to get into a public pool for free. NextGen MilSpouse is an online magazine and community with a fresh and modern perspective on military life. Yes, the term has some merit. I have mentioned before that we have been doing this for 18+ years and I have never encountered this term. In the military community, especially the online military community, dependapotamus is a 4-letter word. The thing is these type of people are the exception…not the normal as these facebookers would have you believe. Author Biographies. This is just uncalled for and unproductive and down right mean. Despite what you may read online dependas are not overrunning every military base all over the world. Have a dependa pic or meme, post it here. […], […] “I refuse to be like all of those other military spouses. Kind of like the c-word and b-word of milspouse-land. She sold Scentsy, let her kid ride his scooter in traffic, and gossiped and started drama with everyone in the neighborhood. In the entry, Daemion defined a “Dependapotamus” as a “stay at home mom” who resembles to “Jabba the hut”. With every stereotype, there comes a bit of truth. What I can’t figure out with these people is why sit and make fun of military spouses when you want nothing to do with the military community, they make fun of the programs (FRG, Functions, Events) and if you say something on these pages about it they say well unlike it and don’t look…why can’t they do the same thing? An insult. And that’s why I don’t associate with military unless I meet them outside of the military setting. They make us all look bad. THAT, my dear is a “dependapotamus”, and I’ve met far too many like her in the 13 years that my husband has been in. I absolutely agree! There are people out there that do neglect and abuse their kids, there are people out there that do not take care of their living space, and there are military spouses out there that do spend their soldiers money and don’t care. ^and that, ladies, is what we call a dependa. My house is SPOTLESS!!! Pride in your home, and caring for your children is a priority. It will be as if we were there in the barracks room with you! 3.3K likes. We all know this type, the lonely woman who stays at home while her husband is away on "their" deployment and when he comes home she spent all "their money Not all MilSpouses are like this. no dirty clothes, clean floors i wash the walls and keep my kids room/bathrooms clean. She received her PhD in Sociology from The New School for Social Research. It’s about being home and doing nothing. The meme took over multiple sites and social networks, such as Facebook, Reddit, Youtube and even Tumblr. at one time i made more money then him so dependa-anything I am not. How often do people complain about women who look disheveled all the time, are out of work, and are on food stamps and welfare and keep having babies. After all, I do have to get up and refresh my bon bon supply between soap operas. You don’t get a rank or title by marrying someone – it is EARNED. I see them at my son’s school almost every day. There is nothing wrong with being a spouse (I am a spouse while active duty), but you better believe that when I get out of the service in 90 days, I will not FOR ONE SECOND believe that I am entitled to my husband’s rank. Apparently those folks live in glass houses, so they are entitled to pin this name on someone they’ve seen. As a female in the service, this is extremely irritating. Dependapotamus also known as “Dependa” is a disparaging term referring to women who are married to a military service member and live off of their wealth and success. Report. Go to your local base exchange or commissary and it is like seeing pictures of “People at Walmart.”. Judge Advocate General’s Office abbreviation on door, “JAG OFF”. Dependapotamus – According to Urban Dictionary: Traditionally a service-member's dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn't do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. The oh-so-popular saying, “Wife of a _____, toughest job in the _____” makes my freaking blood boil. They start out all cute and All-American until after the wedding, then it's like cookies, couch and coach purses. 504 Followers, 315 Following, 62 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Dependapotamus (@dependapotamus) This my friends is a special kind of idiot. Based on some military spouse websites you would think so called “dependas” were overrunning every military base all over the world. 548 votes, 184 comments. Amen, we don’t know why the women who fit the stereotype are like that. Sleeping with someone doesn’t earn you anything. Dependa - Military Dependapotamus tries to get into the pool for free Like us on Facebook! Nominate A Deserving MilFam for Myrtle Beach’s 1 Million Military Contest! That is what I’m hoping we do too, but thus far to me it seems like this generation is the group that started serious bullying amongst milspouses. Usually they are imagined as a very lazy, annoying, fat person. Stay at home mom’s are fine, there is no excuse for a stay at home mom to have a FILTHY home. It’s the women who are like that ALL THE TIME (or at least the majority). I don’t even know what to say to this one. Not caring about your appearance or the reflection of you and your family on your husband and his career. Arguing with other dependas over Facebook all day over who's the bigger dependa. These are the exact equivalent of a dependa. Let humor exist where it may. While there she even said to me ” I have a pet bird because if it poops I can’t smell it” and yes bird poop covered everything- so my question to you is how is this acceptable as a stay at home mom, or any mother for that matter! “I just need to find 11,780 votes.” -Pres. As a woman, I think these women are incredibly selfish and either didn’t know what to expect when they married a Soldier or are spoiled, lazy, worthless, breeders. For dependapotamus hunters, the most basic ritual is to use a common vocabulary, beginning with the word dependa but any derivation of it, like dependapotamus or dependasaurus, will do. Why “Dependapotamus” Needs to End by Danya If you’re a military spouse, you’ve probably heard a few terms like Tag Chaser, WestPac Widow, OSMW (overly-sensitive military wife), and the infamous Dependapotamus. Have a dependa pic or meme, post it here. As military spouses, we are own biggest critics and enemies. Dependopotamus A leech-like creature normally associated with the military, but has been seen in other forms outside of the military. In 2014, on the 14th of January, the user ricerbarbiee submitted an entry about “Dependapotamus” which is now the top definition on Urban Dictionary. they are NOT made up, they are most defiantly not Extinct. demanding recognition for *their* “service”) and rank wearing. […] I bet you’re asking yourself, “what’s spouse shaming”? Often times, by bearing multiple children, … A combo of a dependapotamus and a karen. Women can really be awful. A wife is a wife… and the only thing a wife is competing with, is herself, to make sure her marriage is the best it can be. As do neglectful women 4.2 years ago. Some people just don’t know how to act. I understand that it is offensive to some, but, it is the truth. time. One, the dependa has a huge sense of entitlement and thinks because of what her husband has worked for, she is deserving of more respect that say, a PFC, wife. Men who neglect their woman deserve what they get 4.2 years ago. 1. I think there is a LOT of truth behind the photo. What I will say is that women in general can be mean spirited to other women. The letters BA (Hons) after my name also means: Bad Attitude (Honestly). Let’s be clear. A dependapotamus is someone that doesn't bother to make a life for themselves, depending entirely on their military SO to care for them and any failing business ventures they have that they didn't think out very much. 1.9 years ago. The definition left out a few key ingredients to that combination, such as an inflated sense of entitlement (i.e. Because if women they are “calling” out really live like they are saying by calling them this derogatory name then they know them well enough and if trying to intervene hasn’t worked they need to call in the MP’s or DHS if children are being neglected and housing needs to know if their living quarters are that unihabbitable. It carries an extremely negative connotation meant to demean and insult military spouses. Go to the commissary. I don’t understand women who cant manage one child and maintain a household and then go have three more. O.O. Dependapotamus also known as “Dependa” is a disparaging term referring to women who are married to a military service member and live off of their wealth and success. Nice to see that there are those who find this term as offensive as I do. What is wrong with being a stay at home mom? Dependapotamus – According to Urban Dictionary: Traditionally a service-member’s dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. SlangLang – Online dictionary for slang words. This will only be live on VET Tv. The #1 Ad-Free Reddit ""experience"" without the hassle of being quarantined 2. Dependapotamus | EP05 22m 177 comments **** VET Tv is starting something new! I’m not talking about those who have just going through a difficult time, but those who make it a way of life. For those who don't know what a Dependapotamus, it's a stereotypical military wife. There's a great entry for it on Urban Dictionary, for starters. Ladies (and gents if you’re reading this), stereotypes exist for a reason. I’m pretty sure even us stay at home moms do SOMETHING. The largest military subreddit on reddit. It’s just the truth. If you have children and work, you pay someone to watch your child, and that is acceptable, obviously. clearly, you have missed the point of the dependa. Not extinct In the last military housing neighborhood I lived in a pregnant women’s who’s husband was deployed needed help putting one of those 5 gallon waters On the machine- so I offered. They leech off the military, often using their husband’s benefits irresponsibly, and don’t even make an effort to better themselves by making sure their home is clean for their kids. These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms. That post blew up and received 1,700 upvotes and several comments. Like literally nothing? When one Soldier can’t get it together because his personal life is misery, everyone else has to pick up the slack. You will usually see this term used by spouses on “support” sites. Please don't include names or any other personally identifiable info. As military spouses, we are own biggest critics and enemies. Whether or not you believe that dependapotamuses…dependapotami?…exist, the label “dependa” […], […] Related: Is There Truth Behind the Dependapotamus Myth? The dependapotamus is an endangered species, if not extinct. None of the sites that make fun of the overpopulation of ‘dependas’ in the world claim that every military significant other is one. Everyone has experienced from cattiness to downright aggressive. And yeah, we all have bad days where we feel like crap and have to run a quick errand and don’t have time to ‘get ready’ (or just don’t feel like it), and sometimes all of our kids are crazy. Everyday is a shit day, that is why I drink everyday. Ever. Well, the word is pretty self-explanatory: It is a combination of “dependent,” describing someone who is a military dependent, and “hippopotamus,” as in…well, a really chubby creature that … ), but also claimed her husband’s Purple Heart (another wtf?!?!). Military Dependapotamus. Enough with the “dependapotamus” label! These creatures seek to take advantage of the trusting nature of the more inexperienced Service Member by birthing live children to him, to establish a link that would be more work to be rid of than to simply keep. (Please tell me you’re sensing the sarcasm here.). The Dependapotamus, as scientists refere to them, are living potato sacks who will congregate at the local malls, dive bars, WalMarts, and under 21 night clubs in hopes of finding a military man that they can sink their whorish claws into. 58 talking about this. Commander in Chief, Pacific Fleet (CINCPAC) … as in “Sink Pac!” OOPS! An insult. Oh, quit getting your panties in a bunch. 1.2m members in the 4chan community. I guarantee you’ll see at least a few women dressed in pajama pants, hair a mess, kids a mess, running amok and screaming. For instance, propellant is the common spelling, but propellent is an accepted less-common variant. But this is just calling it like it is. The suffixes -ant and -ent are alike in sound and meaning, and they often give a noun or adjective variant spellings. Thread starter sguyw; Start date 27 Nov 2013; sguyw LE. I viewed it as “spouse on spouse crime”. A person who is married to someone in the service who doesn't just depend on their spouse for financial support, but pretty much relies on them for it. The dependapotamus is far from extinct, I promise you. at least where We are. i have seen these toothless (or mostly toothless) smelly nasty women who sit on there Sofa or in there Garage all day smoke drink and Face Book it up! How to Cope with the Unpredictable Nature of Military Life, 5 Painless Ways to Build Your Military Family’s Emergency Savings, 8 Holiday Gift Ideas For Milspouse Entrepreneurs and Remote Workers, 4 Holiday Marketing and Preparation Tips For MilSpouse Entrepreneurs, Milspouse Entrepreneur Giveaway Alert: Zoom Backdrop from RemoteOffice, Spouse Shaming & The Silencing Military Spouse Advocates, There’s Nothing Wrong with Being A Military Spouse. I have met fantastic spouses, and also the ones that throw their husband’s rank around like it is theirs. We had a famiyl evicted from housing because her home was so trashed. Websites and Facebook pages abound that delight in riffing on the "dependapotamus," "dependa" and other derogatory terms for a stereotypical military spouse, usually portrayed as … Kinda makes you a failure! I wonder if they’ve ever thought about why that person is that way. She isn’t. I don’t think the military has a lock on that. Some rude & brood comments here. Secondly, who is spreading the myth of the dependapotamus? I can’t even fathom this. The channel now has nearly 3000 subscribers, and over 200,000 views. I actually found your article from one of those sites, the primary one that created this particular idea of military spouses. Previous: View Gallery Random Image: It’s not just about being a stay at home mom. A lot of times though, this behavior is coming from dependas who are angry with their life but don’t want to change it. Wouldn’t it be weird if the run-off senate vote in Georgia were contested? your there all day CLEAN IT UP! I think stay-at-home moms get enough flak from the rest of the public, but when we are hearing it from other moms it’s even worse. I’m no dependa.” […], […] (and some of our servicemembers, too) accusing other military spouses of being none other than a dependapotamus. Report. What happened in their life to get them to that point. And name-calling like this only goes to illustrate how acceptable weight discrimination is in our society. Come with questions, we’ll come with answers. This creature can be seen in it's natural state normally in the Post or Base Exchange, usually in the food court area. Not taking care of yourself or your kids. Go to the PX. Because whether or not we want to believe it, our actions have an impact on the way our husband is perceived by his superiors and peers. Amount of votes Joe Biden won Georgia by in the 2020 Presidential Election 3. These women think they’re doing good, but settling for a gross house and unruly children, because she thinks shes too good to work hard. Usually they are imagined as a very lazy, annoying, fat person. Otherwise, you’re stuck defending something that the average service member has become just as knowledgeable with as they are with their uniforms. What sets these women apart are two things. And Jennifrr, I agree, it’s exhausting and let’s do be the group that breaks the cycle. I am not a fan of the page, I check it because I had someone make a snide remark toward me one day about my appearance (gained weight from chemo and hadn’t found a great shampoo yet that works with the new hair texture) and parenting while my kid (who has developmental/phonological/sensory/personality disorders) was having a total meltdown that came on suddenly and I had errands I had to finish, and then not so quietly mention verbatim “this is so going on ______’s page). And remember, what makes a dependa is not one thing or another, it’s a whole combination of things that leads to a non-productive member of society…lol. So how is this no job having, in mother like filth creating women not a dependa? Elizabeth Ziff is an assistant professor in the Department of Sociology at the University of Indianapolis with interests in reproduction, gender, the body, and the family. A Dependapotamus, or Dependapotami (Plural), is the spouse of a military Service Member, whose symbiotic relationship is parasitic. Trump to GA Sec of State in infamous 25th amendment violation worthy phone call, released by WaPo frickin YESTERDAY 2. 23 talking about this. Not only is it not good for your children, but makes your Soldiers life harder. Also the same people on the sites making fun of people also make fun of the ones who do care about keeping up appearances for their spouse’s military career….Also being an FRG leader if you had a concern about the spouses during a deployment did you make it a point to talk to them, ask how they were doing, get to know them on a personal level (how many was this their first deployment, or first duty station, or first PCS) before you made judgment on them? 2 Reply. But if you choose to not work watching your own child is suddenly a deplorable thing to do? All dictionary pages are copies, unless he was in possession of the original manuscript :P ETA: I asked Dad about it because it's been a long time since I heard the story. 2 Reply. Go to a shoppette. It’s very sad all around. I actually knew a wife once that not only claimed her husband’s rank (by grilling me about my husband’s time in service and time in grade–seriously–because *she* wanted to be the highest ranking wife on the block–wtf?!?! Dependapotamus - Who had one ? It makes us (and our husbands) wonder about what’s going on in their homes with the way some women act, and the way they treat their kids. Is There Truth Behind the Dependapotamus Myth? If you dont like hearing other dependent spouses being called names then go out there and help them change. There are so many times in my life I have been proud to be a part of the military community, and then there are times when I see words like this and am just ashamed. The Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary. The official Urban Dictionary API is used to show the hover-definitions. The word for someone like OP is dependapotamus. Then one has to prove oneself to fellow hunters. I read a blog a while ago by a military spouse that was so depressing in the way it portrayed other military spouses, specifically SAHM’s (I believe dependapotomus was the word used). But as a stay at home mom your “duty description” includes house work and raising children…am I right? A dependapotamus is not someone that is just "a hamlord." 3,045 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from ‘dependapotamus’ hashtag Sensitivity at its finest right here! On Youtube, a channel called ‘The Honest Dependa’ was launched in March 2017 dedicated to Dependas, where there are various short, military-themed comedy sketches. I’d like to add some (few) fun ones (crudeness mostly edited out): 1. Dependa tears and military shitposts. From her inability to choose a decent eye makeup color for her skin and hair colors to THIS. One of the very firsts was the page AntiDependa which had an illustration of a so called “Dependapotumus Version 4.3″ as its profile picture. The military provides, and your husband works hard. Answer me this and maybe if you can come up with a miracle of an excuse for it I might entertain you! No, not all SAHM’s are like this. A Dependapotamus is real. This CHILD came crying to Revenge of the Dependapotamus to tell us how she got her husband in trouble AND ruined the life of a wook and her kids in the process. By your reply it makes it sound as if you are grouping every military spouse into this derogatory name…so if you chose not to have any interaction with your husbands life/job and affiliation into what he does….how do you know or why do you even care about the other spouses unless you go to places to specifically find someone who is not 100% well manicured in the nicest clothing that day to purposely point them out to use for you own amusement (which doesn’t say a lot of good about your character). I was so appalled and grossed out I didn’t know what to do. Share Pin Tweet PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image. DO NOT BECOME ONE. 27 Nov 2013 #1 Who else had one while they served ?? It’s not the norm, but it’s not just a few, either. provide a sanitary and clean area in witch to raise my children. Are you as appalled as I am that dependapotamus has its own entry in the Urban Dictionary? A: Dear feeling hurt, The term “dependa” or “dependapotamos” is, unfortunately, a fairly well-known derogatory term within the military community. It’ll make for a better military community, I bet. It’s easy to call people names but it’s harder to get to know them. No matter what kind of life you want to live there will be a milspouse bully or many bullies who want to judge you. My husband is NO LONGER military. If you have no idea what a “dependapotamus”  is, check out the definition on Urban Dictionary: Dependapotamus: Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. Let’s be the group that breaks the cycle. We all know that  American women struggle with body image issues. Great post! Most of the mothers do not take care of themselves, they let their kids run wild up and down the streets. We as service members say this and believe it for a reason. He says the original wording was "Give me a page from the dictionary," and the dictionary he cut the pages from was a pocket dictionary he owned and kept in his school desk. Other than being a totally made up phrase derived from the concept of “slut shaming,” spouse shaming is merely my way of discussing a fairly popular military community cultural practice of military spouses, (and some of our servicemembers too) accusing other military spouses of being none other than a dependapotamus. the. Dependapotamus. I Know You’re Going to Be a Great Military Spouse, You Ask, We Answer: Handling Your Kid’s Deployment Questions Without Lying, 7 Highly Pretentious Green Living Habits Everyone Should Adopt, Love Is Love: One MilSpouse’s Reaction to the Same-Sex Marriage Decision. The Pros and Cons Of Starting A Business With A Milspouse... Mentorship and the Milspouse-Owned Business, The Smart Military Spouse’s Guide To Military Promotions. What’s really amazing is that I saw the article on FB on one of those support sites, and the first half a dozen comments completely missed the point of your article, insisting these creatures do exist. (Not you liz, but the person you talked about. My question is how do you know it’s not just an every once in a while thing with the spouses you see like that…do you know them personally or are you at the same places every single day and see them like that EVERY time they are there. Seriously, get these lazy good-for-nothings off the couch and oit of the house. Newsflash, if you are paying someone to do the same thing a stay at home mom does, it’s not a piece of cake. Spouse websites you would think so called “ dependas ” were overrunning every military base over. Happened in their life to get them to that combination, such as Facebook, Reddit Youtube... Behind the photo demanding recognition for * their * “ service ” ) and rank wearing their. And doing nothing have wives like this only goes to illustrate how acceptable weight discrimination is our! 27 Nov 2013 ; sguyw LE one time I made more money then him so dependa-anything am... Annoying, fat person on that three more year 2013, multiple Facebook groups and were! No excuse for it I might entertain you spouses, and that is I..., such as Facebook, Reddit, Youtube and even Tumblr lived in as! For your children is a 4-letter word counterproductive to creating a supportive for. Claimed her husband ’ s exhausting and let ’ s are like that 3,045 Posts - see Instagram and! Facebook, Reddit, Youtube and even Tumblr service ” ) and rank wearing are dependapotamus urban dictionary to this... 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